July 26th, 2017.

CMSA: THE TRANSITioNAL PAINTINGS. I work in a serial fashion, a series can be just a few paintings or, ( like the most recent one)take five years to complete, i never know much (consciously anyway) about the new series; what it's about exactly, how long it will take, or what it may mean. and most important to me, what it will look like? This period is super exciting but also super scary because it's so full of unknowns, it can feel like groping for something in a dark room. In the end I have to have faith in the subliminal mind and trust it will produce the sublime. At this point the best i can do is try to trust in the process, and stay out of my own way. Because the conscious mind insists(unless it's asleep or very bored ) on being in the drivers seat, keeping it at bay requires alot of psychic energy and discipline (like meditating or yoga). This process seems to go on forever: taking days, weeks, months, and in this case a full fucking year to complete one transitional painting. The weirdest thing is i don't know at first that the paintig i'm working on is the transitional one that i've been talking about. First clue is i keep changing my mind and repainting stuff (well i always do this, but here i'm talking about doing it so much that i doubt my sanity!), Every time i step back and look at it i hate it, resulting in ever more extreme changes so it starts to look completely unlike what i had in mind or the rest of the series. I will call it done and than 24 hours later feel compelled to take it done and make more major changes... I 'm filled with doubt and i'm not sure i know how to paint. All this comes with much anxiety and hand wringing....So that's what i've been up to this last year, painting and repainting and repainting the same painting, trying to figure out what happens next. And i have questioned my sanity and despaired with much hand wringing, but finally i think i see the light and i do have a sense of where i'm going next...you'll have to tune in next season to see this latest transitional painting, don't want to post it til it's done. But here are a few transitional paintings from previous series. `